In the various comments on Linked In about Enlightened Self-Interest in the TameFlow Approach, one raised an important aspect. Ove Herber Holmbert quoted the Dalai Lama, who said:
One must be compassionate to one’s self before external compassion.
Ove further commented that he believes that:
Your growth and prosperity comes when you help others.
No doubt that is a wonderful stance, and the Dalai Lama’s quote is spot on.
But here’s the thing: TameFlow is not about moral philosophy.
Enlightened Self-Interest as a System-Building Expediency
The TameFlow Approach has a more humble system-building raison-d’etre.
We try to answer the question: what factor will get the most impact in any goal-oriented social community of people; what is the natural common denominator among all?
The answer is self-interest.
Hence the idea of using that as the driving force, but to rein in that force and direct it via the ’enlightenment’ factor, i.e. the Mental Models.
Any moral-philosophical standpoint will not have the same broad base, appeal and effect.
Moreover any moral statement requires some decree of preaching, proselytizing, and evangelizing; and it creates dichotomies (the good ones that “get it” and the bad ones that don’t).
You don’t need to go further than the Agile Manifesto to see these effects in action, as I explained in TameFlow and the Manifesto for Agile Software Development.
The Power of the Exchange of Value
More interesting comments came from Robert Kirubi who stated the following:
When you reduce collaboration to behavior or intention, you miss the deeper engine: Two self-interested agents agreeing to a fair trade. That’s where alignment begins. Not in ideology, not in culture—but in incentives that make sense for everyone involved.
The real magic happens when the system rewards participants for making decisions that benefit themselves and simultaneously reinforce the whole. Not because they were told to. Not because they were “good.” But because the design made alignment the path of least resistance.
That’s why I think “value exchange” should be foundational. It’s the first mirror. It tells each actor: your time, energy, and contribution matter—so does what you ask in return.
Everything else—flow, coherence, shared purpose—emerges from that.
These considerations are relevant and build upon the foundational reckoning of “what is value for me?” Because if one’s perception of value changes, one won’t continue to engage in the exchanges that were valued before; but seek out other kinds of exchanges.
The effect of Mental Models is to change that fundamental perception.
Consequently even the interpersonal, bilateral value-exchanges change, and ultimately the entire internal social fabric evolves.
In this sense, picking Mental Models that cause the Unity of Purpose to just “happen” is at the core of what Enlightened Self-Interest represents in the TameFlow Approach.
The exposure to appropriate Mental Models will make the magic happen. People will get their Aha! moment; the epiphany. And start to see that what they wanted is less beneficial than what they could desire in the light of the new perceptions. And with an updated understanding of value, the exchanges they are willing to make change to. The relationships with others changes. The internal network of trust evolves. Steps are taken toward the Unity of Purpose.